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Women
of a Certain Age:
Retirement Advice: Have a Plan B ... C, D, E, and F
By
Kimberly Anger
Despite our planning, planning and planning again, retirement
for Jim and me has had its share of surprises. When you are
ready to retire you think “Wow! No more work for me!” What
you should be saying is “Wow, I think my life is going
to change in ways I cannot imagine.” Of course, no
one ever says that, and work you will — though it won’t
look the same and most of it is pleasurable work. Daily routines,
relationship dynamics, assignment of duties and financial
positions all will change. And those can be scary changes.
For
those considering retirement, you’re going to get a
ton of advice. Most of it is good stuff, so listen up. But
most of it is opinion and personal
experience. Again, good stuff but you have to take it for what its worth. Which
brings me to this ... I have some advice for you.
I have been married for nearly 30 years. The last time I spent 24/7/365 with
my husband? That would be never, save a few vacation weeks here and there.
Now we are together everyday ... all day. Personal space issues are bound to
pop
up. You’re going to need to flex your communication and compromise muscles.
But, take a look at that guy or gal you married so long ago. With the exception
of a few crows feet, laugh lines and graying temples, they’re still that
person you fell in love with. The one you could hardly wait to spend every moment
with. Well, here’s your chance. Life is unpredictable, so don’t waste
a nanosecond.
It seems a good time to retire is when all the kids have left — for good.
Not in-between the second or third time they have returned home. Wait until they
are well on their way establishing homes and families of their own. Now would
be a good time to downsize if you fear they still have a key and aren’t
afraid to use it. Having said that, don’t be surprised if you end up seeing
less of those kids at the very moment you have more time on your hands. You raised
these wonderfully independent children and now they are exercising that independence.
Go you! You did a great job! If you were a close-knit family, this can be especially
stressful. Remember, you are the one with the loosey-goosey schedule so remain
open to the tiny holes in your children’s lives that you can creep into.
Food is a great lure ... now go fishing.
If you retire at a relatively early age, you might find yourself without a
great number of friends to play with. Think about this if you are a social
butterfly.
Remember, your friends will need to go to bed early, get up early, leave the
party early. Try not to be a pain in the ass. Take an art class. Take a writing
class. Get to know yourself again. If you don’t like what you find, I’m
sure there’s a class that can help you with that too.
Now that you live in a world made up completely of weekends, take advantage
of it. Go to the home improvement mega-store at 9:30 on a Tuesday. Grocery
shop
on a weekday morning and you’ll avoid all those dazed working women, stumbling
blindly through the aisles at 5:30 pm. on tired feet stuffed in uncomfortable
pumps or the soccer mom who has 15 minutes to shop before the kids have to be
at the field. Remember when that was you? Give ’em a break and give ’em
some room. You’ve got six other Saturdays to shop.
As we have discovered, our financial lives are a moving target. We planned,
revised the plan and planned again. We created a budget, scraped it and made
another
one. We dotted i’s and crossed t’s. We ran the numbers so often,
we figured they surely built up some muscle. In the end there is so much out
of your control that you need to have a Plan B, C, DEF. More importantly, you’ll
need to be able to bob and weave and develop a flexible spending plan. Expect
the canceled cost of living increases, a mecurial stock market, vehicle breakdowns,
the dreaded appliance flu and ever-increasing expenses will have you pulling
your hair out in frustration.
But then your phone rings. It’s your 3-year-old grandson telling you he
loves you. And you run out the door to spend the afternoon doing what you set
out to do. Enjoy this golden opportunity to enjoy the best of your golden years.
Kimberly may be contacted via email
at amazingangers@comcast.net.
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