senior-spectrum.com - Joey Franklin

A Friend Who's There Through Thick and Thin

A wise man once said that if you have one close friend in your lifetime, you are rich. Those words came to mind recently when a close friend of mine was having some health problems. I thought about our friendship and how important it is to me.

It didn't happen overnight. In fact, when we first met I don't think either of us thought it would happen, because we are very different people with different interests. As I thought about that, I found myself laughing about those differences.

She loves shopping and needs no excuse to do it. I, on the other hand, hate shopping and will find any excuse not to.
When I do shop, it's on the Internet and that brings up another difference -- I think computers are great, she doesn't have one and has no interest in owning one.

I love talking politics. She has only a passing interest in it. I love reading my morning paper from front to back, and I toss aside the sales ads. My friend scans the news section but pores over all the sales sections. I work the crossword puzzles and the CryptoQuote every morning. She doesn't like word games of any kind.

She is the neatest, cleanest person I have ever known and she does it with such ease. Every morning, she showers and puts on some great looking outfit and at the end of the day she still looks like she had just gotten out of the shower and dressed for a night out.

I, on the other hand, shower and throw on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt and think it's great if they don't look like I had slept in them by the end of the day. If I have a luncheon or dinner date, I wait until the last minute to get dressed up, because if I get ready too early I'll end up looking like I've just come back from one. Spots just seem to gravitate to my clothes from out of nowhere, no matter how careful I try to be. We've shared a lot of laughs about this.

It's not only her personal appearance that is impeccable. Almost everything in her life falls under that category. No dust hangs around her place for long, even when she's sick. I find being sick once in a while a good excuse for not dusting or vacuuming.

She's a great cook and can prepare a dinner for five and her kitchen looks like it had all been catered. I open a can of soup to heat for lunch and spend the next half hour cleaning the kitchen.

I don't want to give you the impression she is some kind of neatness snob, for she is not. She is as down-to-earth as anyone I know. She just has that special talent for staying neat no matter what she does, and she makes it look easy.
She has many friends and acquaintances from all walks of life, and she'll be there in a minute if any one needs her help.

I also don't want you to get the impression I live in a pig sty. My apartment is always presentable, if you don't inspect it too closely, and my appearance usually is acceptable to polite society even in my jeans and T-shirts. It's just that I have to work twice as hard at it while she makes it look like some kind of magic.

What makes our friendship so special, even with all those differences, is the fact that we share many things that we don't share with others. She knows all my family secrets and she has shared hers with me. We don't run around together, except for an occasional movie or for sharing a quick bite to eat. Sometimes we don't see each other for days, but we always talk once or twice a day on the phone.

When I'm sick, she is there to see if I need anything, and vice versa. When I'm blue, I don't have to put up on a false smile. If I feel like crying, I can and she'll understand.

We might not always agree on things and we've even had some minor disagreements over the years, but nothing serious. There's no jealousy between us -- we accept one another as we are. I guess that's what friendship is really all about.

Benjamin Disraeli once said that friendship is "the gift of the gods and the most precious boon to man." Those are meaningful words, but there are others I'd like to add. "A friend is someone who knows all your faults and shortcomings and likes you in spite of them," and, "A friend in need is a friend indeed." And indeed she is that.

Fortunately, she came through her health problem OK and she's celebrating a birthday this month. So happy birthday, friend.

Sacramento resident Joey Franklin, retired from more than three decades of full-time work in the newspaper business, now writes a monthly column for Spectrum.

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