Club Offers Myriad Creative Opportunities
to Help Seniors Extend Their Driving Years
Corner: Beverages of Note: Skunky French Roast and Acorn
A Packet of Chucklets for You to Chew (or Eschew)
Following is a randumb mishmash of titbits (look it up before you frown),
designed to titillate you (for shame if you frowned again!) - or, at
the very least, provide you with momentary diversion.
None of them are of Pulitzer quality, but if they evoke from you a small smile
or perceptible nod, they have served the writer’s purpose.
• Possible Country/Western song title: “She Was Only A Homely Moonshiner,
But I Loved Her Still!”
• Definition of shotgun weddings: Matters of wife or death.
• While it is true that the early bird gets the worm, it’s the second
mouse that gets to eat the cheese.
• Most of the money in the world is tainted; that is to say, tain’t
yours and tain’t mine neither.
• A point to ponder: If the world didn’t suck, as some say it does,
there’s a good chance that we might fall off it.
• If you have been scared half to death more than once, be grateful, because
you have clearly beaten the odds.
• Maybe the Good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose, but
mosquitoes, cockroaches and many politicians come mighty close.
• Red meat, contrary to the advice of some nutritionists, is not bad for
you. However, gray meat with a furry coating more than probably is.
• At all costs, avoid involvement in dangerous cults (practice safe sects!)
• Never, EVER get into an argument with an idiot; people listening in may
not be able to tell the difference between you and him/her.
• Life is like a roll of toilet paper; the closer it gets to the end, the
faster it goes.
• Is a puzzlement: How do they train deer to cross the highway only at
those black-on-yellow signs along the highway?
• There’s nothing in life much more annoying than that point in an
intense argument when you first realize that you are dead wrong and losing badly.
• These among indisputable truisms: Time flies like an arrow, but fruit
flies like a rotten banana.
• Query (only for the literate reader): Should a book on voyeurism be classified
as a peeping tome?
• One of the better ways to get back on your feet is to miss a few car
• A sober reflection for one and all: What if the hokey-pokey IS what it’s
• It is a scientific fact that light travels faster than sound. This is
why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
• Confucius say, “Forbidden fruits create many jams.” (Well,
maybe HE didn’t, but somebody should have!)
• More we cannot wish you than to wish your dreams become reality (except
for that one when you find yourself buck naked in a public place.)
• When engaged in one of those self-examination processes, remember that
a clear conscience is frequently symptomatic of a flawed memory.
• You can’t have everything and, as a practical matter, even if you
could, where would you put it all?
• Before you criticize people, you should walk a mile in their shoes; that
way, you’re 5,280 feet away from them and they’re barefooted.
• For some people, marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
• The only useful purpose of a child’s middle name is so that he/she
can tell that his/her Mom is really PO’d.
• Finally: Only in America do sick people have to walk the length of a
drug store to fill their prescriptions, while healthy customers can buy cigarettes
right up front.
All for now and, very likely, much less than you needed to make this a great
day; hopeful, though, that it beat a sharp stick in the eye!
Freelance wordworker Joe Klock, Sr. (email@example.com) winters in
Key Largo and Coral Gables, Florida and summers in New Hampshire. More
of his Klockwork can be found at www.joeklock.com.
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