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Family Matters: How to Divvy Up Your Stuff
By Jim Miller
Divvying
up personal possessions among adult children or other loved ones
is a task that many parents dread. Deciding who should get what without
showing favoritism, hurting someone’s feeling or causing a
feud can be difficult, even for close-knit families who enter the
process with the best of intentions. Here are some tips to consider
that can help you divide your stuff with minimal conflict.
Problem Areas
For starters, you need to be aware that it’s usually the small, simple
items of little monetary value that cause the most conflicts. This is because
the value we attach to the small personal possessions is usually sentimental
or emotional, and because the simple items are the things that most families
fail to talk about.
Family battles can also escalate over whether things are being divided fairly
by monetary value. So for items of higher value like your jewelry, antiques and
art, consider getting an appraisal to assure fair distribution. To locate an
appraiser, visit appraisers.org.
Ways to Divvy
The best solution for passing along your personal possessions is for you to go
through your house with your kids (or other heirs) either separately or all at
once. Open up cabinets, drawers and closets, and go through boxes in the attic
to find out which items they would like to inherit and why. They may have some
emotional attachment to something you’re not aware of. If more than one
child wants the same thing, you will have the ultimate say.
Then you need to sit down and make a list of who gets what on paper, signed,
dated and referenced in your will. You can revise it anytime you want. You may
also want to consider writing an additional letter or create an audio tape, CD
or DVD that further explains your intentions.
You can also specify a strategy for divvying up the rest of your property. Some
fair and reasonable options include:
• Take turns choosing: Use a round-robin process where family members take
turns picking out items they would like to have. If who goes first becomes an
issue, they can always flip a coin or draw straws. Also, to help simplify things,
break down the dividing process room-by-room, versus tackling the entire house.
• Have a family auction: Give each person involved the same amount of “play
money,” or use “virtual points” to bid on the items they want.
This can also be done online at eDivvyup.com, a website for families and estate
executors that provides a fair and easy way to distribute of personal property.
For more ideas, see “Who Gets Grandma’s Yellow Pie Plate?” A
resource created by the University of Minnesota Extension Service that offers
a detailed workbook or interactive CD for $12.50, and DVD for $30, that gives
pointers to help families discuss property distribution and lists important factors
to keep in mind that can help avoid conflict. You can order a copy online at
yellowpieplate.umn.edu or by calling 800-876-8636.
It’s also very important that you discuss your plans in advance with your
kids so they can know ahead what to expect. Or, you may even want to start distributing
some of your items now, while you can still alive.
This page and its contents ©2013
Metropolitan News Company, Inc.
