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Local author, Judith Horstman, combines her interest in science and medicine with her passion for writing in her latest book about the role the brain plays in forming relationships. —Photo by William Walker

Mind and Desire: Local Author Unravels Affairs of the Brain

By Kimberly A. Edwards

What can a grandmother tell you about sex and love? Plenty, especially if she’s Sacramentan Judith Horstman, author of a new book about the brain in love.

“We humans are hard-wired to love,” she says. “We crave companionship, which is essential for our well-being.”

Horstman, grandmother of four, specializes in writing on health and medicine. Known for her ability to knead complex concepts into edible accounts, she spends her days researching studies of the brain’s daily deeds; What was it doing when you woke up, went to work, kissed your loved one, fell asleep? And now, Who do you love and why? Her new book “The Scientific American Book of Love, Sex and the Brain, The Neuroscience of How, When, Why and Who We Love,” shows once again how she combs neuroscientific studies to assemble a picture that any of us can comprehend.

“I try to write so my 13-year-old grandson can understand and a neuroscientist will enjoy reading it,” says Horstman.

With engaging blue eyes, Horstman projects her keen interest and excitement she feels for the subject. “There are so many kinds of love — from the bonding of parent and child to the passion of erotic love, the affection of companionship, the role of pets in our lives, teachers and mentors, and the love of God,” she says. “The brain controls our loving relationships, most intimate moments, and our deep and basic need for connection.”

Horstman’s book is third in a series of four, produced in as many years. Other titles include, “The Scientific American Day in the Life of Your Brain” and “The Scientific American Brave New Brain” The fourth, “The Scientific American Healthy, Aging Brain,” is scheduled for a May release.

The latest book rouses reader interest with playful section names such as “Granny’s got to have it” and “Will you still need me when I’m 64?”

“Not only does the will to love never die,” says Horstman, “but erotic love doesn’t either. It all happens in the brain from that first flicker of interest. And yes, apparently you will still need me at 74, 84, 94 and beyond, health willing. Age doesn’t kill desire, it seems. Oh, it may tamp it down a bit, but studies show grandparents –– and maybe great-grandparents –– still enjoy getting it on.”

Getting it on may be an understatement. Horstman found that both men and women admit they’re inspired by erotic love — and engaging in it — into their 80s and 90s. In one study, 67 percent of men and 40 percent of women ages 65-74 said they had been sexually active in the past year; among 75-85 years olds, 38.9 percent of men and 16.8 percent of women. “It’s self-reported, so may not be completely accurate — but it shows that seniors are thinking about it,” Horstman noted.

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The beginning of a writing brain
Science writing grew out of Horstman’s interest in medicine and her job as a Washington correspondent and feature writer for Gannett News Service and USA Today. “Years ago,” she says, “when I was covering health policy issues and ethics, I became fascinated by these subjects. For awhile I had every condition I wrote about!”

A Knight Science Journalism Fellowship recipient at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Horstman taught journalism at numerous universities in the U.S. and in Europe, where she received Fulbright professor awards. She’s the author of seven books and has written and edited for many publications, including TIME Inc. Health, such as Dr Koop’s Self-Care Advisor and the Harvard Health Letter and for websites on ALS, lupus, and arthritis.

Horstman values the challenge of speaking to audiences. She patiently listens to questions and tenders facts the listeners can relate to. “I like the retirees who turn out for the Renaissance forums at Sac State. They are whip-smart and not shy about engaging in discussion.”

A follower of yoga and meditation, Horstman balances a busy daily schedule. “[It’s] not glamorous!” she says, “In fact, downright lonely sometimes, which is why I appreciate the Sacramento writing community. As with anyone self-employed, you’re your own worst boss. I try to use early morning energy for writing. My recent books are heavily researched, so I am glued to the computer for 5 to 6 hours a day.” As often as she can, she travels — to India for several years, when one of her daughters lived there, and to France and Scotland this past fall.

You’ve got a friend – or you should
What fascinates Horstman from her research is that the most profound relationships, beyond those with parents, lie with friends. “Sex is biological, but it doesn’t sustain us. Friendships can be with your lover, your mother, your spouse, your ex-spouse, your kids, your social companions, your work companions, your school or childhood pals.”

“Friendship offers itself in many guises. It doesn’t deny other relationships or demand exclusiveness, it forgives many trespasses and it often deepens with age.” She says some of her dearest friends hail from more than 52 years ago.

“Companionship, love and acceptance help us feel healthy. Touch produces positive feelings. Kindness, accommodation and forgiveness boost bonding. “Lowering inhibitions helps people bond,” she writes. “We bond when we share secrets.”

Commitment is essential to building love. Women seek partners who make them chuckle. In long-term happy relationships, partners make each other laugh. Older couples were found to be calmer and less emotionally reactive in conflicts.

When feeling isolated, people are more likely to watch TV at the expense of relationships. “Loneliness leads people to feel that characters are friends,” says Horstman. “These para-social relationships are one-sided surrogates which are considered safe and provide connection without pain, time, or sacrifice.”

When you’re lonely the brain is in heightened state of alertness for social threats, snubs, alienation — elevated levels of stress hormone, which are bad for the brain.”

The current economic state triggers anxiety, a condition known to interfere with sexual satisfaction –– an example of the brain’s intricate involvement with sex. Yet research suggests that more people over 60 are cheating today than in 1991, possibly related to the popularity of Viagra.

“These findings suggest that when saving for our later years, to put a bit more in the pot to secure a private room at any nursing home of the future,” jokes Horstman.

For her next book on the aging brain, she found even more evidence that we need one another. “No use in sitting alone, as they sing in Cabaret. Seclusion is bad for the brain. Get out. Accept all invites. Volunteer. Join an exercise group. Take or teach a class.”

As they say, Grandma knows best.

For more on Judith Horstman visit: www.JudithHorstman.com. Horstman will be speaking and signing books at the folllowing locations: Jan. 26, 7 p.m. at Barnes & Noble Arden Fair, Sacramento; Feb. 12, 2 p.m. at The Avid Reader, Sacramento; Feb. 12, 4 p.m. at The Avid Reader in Davis.

Kimberly A. Edwards, is a Sacramento writer.

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